you came without warning
i didn't expect it to be like this
in a place where time goes by
just in a bliss of wind
here you come in white
and with that bright smile

i've never hated and wanted
anything in my life
as much as i had for you
it was as hard to grip tight
as it was as difficult to let go

you saw an opening
and my fault to let you see it
you took your chance
and it was my choice to let you in

i know it was a mistake
but i surrendered to what i felt
the feelings were there
and you sowed very eagerly

i let you take me
even when i know it was wrong
sometimes all i needed was company
for all the moments i felt alone

it was just a chance
for someone to not notice
that the things that they are letting go
somebody is willing to catch them fall

patiently picking up every little piece
and filling up the space that was once empty.

Random Thoughts

It's been a while since I've written any ideas here in this blog.
Not that I didn't want to...
It has always been the time where we become pre-occupied with the things around us and we forget that we need to have an output of the things that are happening around us.
Yes, life is a bit of a challenge for us but we need it. Somehow, we are contemplating too much on how we should live.
It is difficult but we don't have a choice. Rushing in just gives us the chance to make mistakes.
Mistakes happen for a reason.
I don't even know how to explain why we do it, but we tend to always do.
Why do it when you already know that from the very beginning, it is and will always be a mistake.
It's not in the matter of perspective, but an error will always be an error.
It might give us the chance to learn, however the choice is always in the palm of our own hands.
Yes. Our own hands. They say that there is no running away from fate.
Fate and Destiny. They are both much in the same page.

Heart and Mind. Can they both work together?
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Life is what we make it.
You Only Live Once.
Fullfill it.

Infidelity

According to Wikipedia, Infidelity (colloquially known as cheating, adultery, or having an affair) most commonly refers to a breach of an expectation of sexual and or emotional exclusivity expressed or implied in an intimate relationship
Somehow, for someone who doesn't do formalities, it is widely known as cheating. 


It is just sad that in a relationship, it comes to a point that one is challenged in letting go of that grasp in the faithfulness pole. Many are those who overcome it, understand it and unfortunately, those who does not survive the test. 

Let us try to understand and see why and how infidelity happens. This may pertain to any given gender in a relationship though. 

Factor A : Distance. There are a lot of sayings about long distance relationships. One famous line is: Distance makes the heart go fonder. But let us not forget: When the cat is away, the mouse will play. Yes, we can laugh about it simply because it is true. We are only human beings after all. The lack of the presence of our loved one on our side denotes some kind of a go-sign for some people to do the things that they cannot do when their partner is near.

Factor B : Boredom. You do everything together, do the same things together, meet the same people together. Somehow, it gets down to your nerves and your mind is aching for more. However, some people interprets this kind of feeling as they feel the need of another person to fill out on what was lacking. 

Factor C : Unhappiness. Staying in a relationship even though you feel like there is nothing there anymore but a blank space. Couples tend to grow apart from various reasons, however, they are afraid in letting go of their partners. 

Factor D : Unfulfilled. There are just some people who are not completely happy with being monogamous. It depends on how one person was brought up and the things that they were exposed to while growing up. 

Factor E : Technology. With how gadgets and the internet seems to be swarming in every corners of the tinsel town, everybody has an access to communication. This gives way to connecting with the past and people who are included in your might have been.

Factor F : Itchiness. Hah! This one is actually something that I made up. Actually, the only point that I am trying to make is that when one is attached already, don't bother asking for their email, number or facebook account. 

I know that there are still a lot of factors which causes infidelity. We are at an era where people are smarter, cunnier ( am I right?) and sneakier so we have to learn how to out do them. I have read that we are like angels built in two's. Unfortunately, we were separated and we are given this life to find our partners. Remember, built in two's and not three's.  No other attachments included. Let's not make this world much worse than what it is now. 

Remember, Karma is just around the corner... so better be careful! 

Small Things Matter

There are times that in a relationship, you get a little too comfortable with each other that you tend to neglect things that matter.In some ways, more or less, it's true. How we stand in a relationship is exceptionally relevant in making it actually work. 

I'm not sure with how men think, but for women, I know that even the smallest act matters. 
The feeling of making you feel important by your partner is by far the happiest feeling in the world and in contrast to that, the slightest feeling of being neglected crushes almost everything into pieces. 


The funny thing is, most men are clueless about this. Instead of actually grasping the fact that they've hurt somebody, they tend to forcefully push their pointless argument that they did nothing wrong. Thus, making their partners feel more like an idiot by having to explain bit by bit on why they were acting like such a crybaby.


From what I've studied before, NEGLIGENCE  is a failure to exercise the care that a reasonably prudent person would exercise in like circumstances.It is also stated that it involves harm caused by carelessness. 
Ha! So being so careless is the root of negligence. Careless because you are too settled in your relationship that you think that nothing could ever go wrong. Not even by intentional or unintentional forgetting to do the small things that you don't think matters. The thing is, they do. They do matter big time that not even the word "sorry" can make up for it. 


From wikipedia, Through civil litigation, if an injured person proves that another person acted negligently to cause his injury, he can recover damages to compensate for his harm.
Compensate huh? Sometimes, it's just funny how some people act clueless about things like this. Not even exerting efforts to COMPENSATE for the damage that they did. They just let time pass, and hopefully they get to be forgiven. 

STFU! An excerpt from the movie Monster In Law: 

I just want a sweet guy, you know a guy who's strong but still opens the door once in a while. Who notices things and you know, maybe makes a difference. 

Unfortunately, these kind of guys either exists only in movies or in reality, an endangered specie or simply extinct. 

Living together: Friends to Enemies?

Yeah, I know. This is another blog with a personal vendetta spread out all over the page.
I can't help it. I'm a girl and I needed an outlet. Thankfully and hopefully, the people involved may never get to read about this blog.

Anyway, here it goes.

At one point in your friendship, you and your friends may have talked about the wish of living together in one roof. You may have thought that it would be fun to go home together everyday after work. Plan, cook and eat your meals at the same time. Share clothes and gossip all night long and of course, the feeling of a sleepover everyday is simply exciting.

It may be a good idea at first, but hey, girls will always be girls.
This is my 8th month in this...hmmm..how exactly should I call it without being too harsh...dreadful? hell-like? prison? ...can't think right, so I'll just call it : M E  D X building. I have seen and experienced things here that I am willing to have a voluntary selective amnesia just to forget about them. People smiling in front of you and just after a second of turning your back at them, they have already thrown daggers at your behind. If your are not careful, you might fall flat on your face without even knowing why and how. I came here looking for an additional experience for my career and I had hoped that along with it, gain some new friends.



Actually, this is not the first time that I have lived with my friends or with other people. And I got along with them just fine. No issues and problems. I think it's because I'm a very patient person. I think that being like this is my worst attitude. I endure things too much because I don't like confrontations and I really stay away from arguments as much as possible. My trust is too easy too gain and so is my hand of friendship. I guess, it's true that if you give too much, time will come that people will misinterpret it or abuse it.

When people live together, they learn a lot of things about each other. I think that it's fun because you get to learn more about the people that you work with everyday. But I was wrong, I didn't include in my mind that together with the good stuff that you learn, dirt is also available for unintentional sharing and not to mention the added skeletons in their closets. Best thing is you try to ignore them but no matter how hard you try, time will always come that these little things will pile up like little legos and unfortunately, it will get too high and crash directly on your nerves.

Best friends becomes mortal enemies, relatives cursing each other and two-faced bitches joining the fight.
It's a real riot! Insecurities and gossips sells like hot pancakes to women. And I think that this is the root of all arguments in this place. Locked in with no way out. It's difficult to run away from these kind of situations. The only one that you can trust is the angel beside you everyday.

Day by day, you learn new things. It may be something useful or futile. The issue is, what do you do with the new information that you may or may have not intentionally gathered.

What, you may ask are the pro's and con's of friends and co-workers living together? It's a lot. Really, a lot. No matter how simple or complex it may be,there will always be a chance that it will turn into a complicated relationship. And don't even bother believing when they say that "at work , work will always be work, walang personalan". It's a dumb-ass lie.

Women are really funny creatures. With no way how to really properly describe them or how to explain and read their minds, they will always stay as a puzzle to others.

I am thankful that back home, I got real friends. Wonderful people that I have previously lived with in one roof and helped me build a rocking friendship bond that I will treasure for eternity.

How to survive this then? Stay neutral. Never side with anyone, don't involve yourself with any issue and the most important thing that I learned : TRUST NO ONE.

Photo A Day MAY! Challenge Accepted!

This is it! I've finally found something to do everyday that would satisfy my thirst for expressing myself!
For 7 months now, I've been locked in this same building, seeing the same things everyday. Doing this gives me an inspiration and something to look up to doing everyday.

Although I would be starting on Day 11, I'm still excited.
Hope I get some good pictures worthy enough to be shown here. I'll be posting it daily on my In st a g ram (whenever my pod doesn't go boinking with the net) and I'll also post the rest here by group.

I'll only be using my I pod but I think that it has a decent camera and as long as I shoot with the correct lighting, it'll be good to go!

So here we go, as a sample, here's my DAY 11 pic : KITCHEN.

Sayonara 2011! Marhaba 2012!

It's the end of the year again! But then, I don't really believe in endings.. except for happy endings. I think that if something has to end, then that would mean that a new beginning is starting. This is actually the time when we should pause for a couple of minutes and reflect about the things that happened in the previous year. Not every memory would exactly be a good one but let's just say that we learned a thing or two from our experience, may it be a happy one or the latter.

A couple of things I that happened last year that I want to remember and cherish:
- Meeting with my gradeschool friends. Proof that growing old does not mean growing out of friends. These people are some of the nicest peeps that I know!

Burt Jayson Alfonso, Crichton Casama, Rewina Malicay, Lj Manalili, Rea Mojica, Blesilda Liwanag
6 HOPE
January 2011

- The best TEAM BUILDING ever!!!!

The ORIGINAL TEAM 8 plus CHERRY! ^__^

Oh! And I conquered my fear of heights! YEP! THAT'S ME!!! Yebah!

-the last week of my teaching days at ENOZ.

How I miss my colorful and cluttered station.

-The time I returned to Marinduque after almost 10 years. 

How I love this handsome Morion!
March 2011

- The day I finished my 1st 5k RACE. 

Hyundai Run
April 2011

- The Time I became a part time book Illustrator. Ha! One of my wishes happened and I learned that it was pure hardwork! Sorry got no images, my old Toshiba Satellite gave up after the project so I wasn't able to save some of my files. I guess it was too much for it too! - May 2011

-The time I channeled the artist in me. Made a couple of paintings for my special someone and enjoyed experimenting on different genres!

Colored Pencil on Paper

- Facing reality and thinking of getting married! Best wishes to my friend Anessa Lumberio and her husband Joey Navarro. He'd better take good care of her...or else! hmmm.. i wonder when would be the time for us.... hahahah!

Milwaukee, Joey, Anessa, LJ
August 2011

- Deciding that it was time for me to get on with my career plans. APPLIED FOR JEDDAH. - August 2011

- My first WENSHA EXPERIENCE. So relaxing. Thanks to Carla and Glad for the wonderful day!

Carla, Glad, LJ

- The day I left Manila for Jeddah. Goodluck to me!

MNL-RYD-JDH Flight
October 2011

-Booyeah! Greatest Halloween Party Ever! With my MEDX Family.

- Our 7th year Anniversary. We may not be together physically but I believe our hearts are bonded with MIGHTY BOND! hahaha! I LOVE HIM so much. and I'm grateful that God has given me someone like him. 

NOVEMBER 18, 2011 

- Am so proud of my ROOKIE OF THE YEAR!!! I know that this has been a very bountiful year for you. I hope that the blessings will continue to shower upon you dy! EXCELLENT JOB!

- Best Christmas Gift from my beloved! Thank you so much!!!

- Successful Christmas Party! 

Well for now, that's all that I can get.. but surely, I learned a lot of things this year. From friendships to relationships to career and life. Everything happens for a reason. I know that God will not give us something that we cannot overcome. I am thankful for the blessings and challenges that happened in the year 2011. Also, for giving me the chance to experience it all not alone but with friends and loved ones. We may have lost a lot of things this year but rather think that we have gained more than that. I hope that God will continue to bless us with His grace and provide us with a prosperous year 2012. 

Happy New Year! Happy New YOU!